Tuesday, October 26, 2004

A Shmoo by any other name...

Well, I guess this is as good a time as any to say goodbye, although something tells me it isn't for good. You'll be missed Shamae by me and everybody around you. I've known you since kindergarten, and we had plenty of good times; all of us will have the memories of the time spent together.

We all have our own stories to tell, whether all of us left behind are out of your story for good is for fate to decide, I guess. There will be water if God wills it. But I've never been a very strong believer in fate, and I don't think this goodbye is forever. Maybe that's because it still hasn't set in yet, but at least we can all hope.

Whether we meet again or not, you will be missed and you won't be forgotten.

May the knife be with you.

Catch you on the flipside --

-- Sousa

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

When there's no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the earth...

I found this flash game on the web, and in the spirit of Halloween I thought you all might enjoy blowing a bunch of zombies back to Hell. Isn't that what Halloween is all about? Just follow the link, you may need to update your Shockwave, but other than that you all should do fine. Happy Blasting.


Monday, October 11, 2004


I seem to have an inner monologue continually inside my head, which sometimes make my life seem more like a book or a movie. So I got thinking, what if I had a soundtrack to my life? What songs would there be on it? So I thought harder about it and came up with my soundtrack. Obviously if it was all through my life it would have a lot more songs, but for the sake of sanity this is my soundtrack:

1.) Behind Blue Eyes - The Who (Limp Bizkit's cover is also a possibility)
2.) Hurt (cover) - Johnny Cash (this one has to be Cash's cover)
3.) Beautiful Day - U2
4.) Black - Pearl Jam
5.) Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms
6.) Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison
7.) The Scientist - Coldplay
8.) Bittersweet Symphony - The Verve
9.) One I Love - REM
10.) Back in Black - AC/DC
11.) Dream On - Aerosmith
12.) One Headlight - The Wallflowers
13.) Times Like These - Foo Fighters
14.) E-Bow the Letter - REM
15.) With or Without You - U2
16.) Mad World (cover) - Gary Jules
17.) Everybody Hurts - REM
18.) Do You Realize? - The Flaming Lips

So, what about you all? What would your soundtracks be? Go ahead and do it, you're probably bored anyway, why else would you be looking at blogs? You might learn something new about a person, maybe something you have in common that you didn't know, music is the international language. We all relate to different songs, how many of us listen to a song and suddenly a line hits you and you realize "hey, that's exactly how I feel!"? So come on people, sign away the rights, what's your soundtrack?

Monday, October 04, 2004

What have I become, my sweetest friend?

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that’s real

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend?
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liars chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend?
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I will keep myself
I would find a way

I've been thinking a lot lately about life and the like. Looking at how I am, the person I am. I've looked back over my life and thought about all the things I've done. But what first got me thinking was looking into my eyes. An age ago a friend of mine told me what she saw in my eyes: sadness.
Now when I look into them, that's still what I see, sadness... lonliness... grief. But then I think back, and that's what makes me who I am. That darkness is part of me, and the reason I am who I am. I can look at my life, and though I have that hurt deep inside me, I'm still doing pretty well, and that reminds me that life will go on.

I have my demons, you have yours, but maybe that emptyness makes us whole. Maybe that's why we all understand eachother.

'What are we doing?
Our hidden purpose
Secret to all
Searching for our meaning
Our life
Expecting to find ourselves
In ourselves
Staring back in the mirror
What can you find?
What do you see?
In your eyes--
Behind your eyes--
Through your eyes--
Into your soul'

- The Drifter's Muse; Canto I